Updated: Dec 18, 2022
Many people including myself, have wondered “am I in love?” Is this what it feels like?”
Which ponders the question- what actually IS love? And how do we know we are IN love. We all know what love is when it comes to basic relationships between a mother and a child. Or a father and a child. But that is not the type of love we are talking about, see the love parents have for their offspring is a natural nurturing instinct that constitutes as love but in reality the instinct is as natural as eating or sleeping, it’s not an option or a choice, it’s a given. Now some parents may have this more naturally than others but generally it’s a instinctual love that is enforced by our natural human existence. My father told me a story once of how much a mother loves her child and the story goes like this; “a man was told by his wife if you love me, carve out your mother’s heart and bring it to me whilst it’s still beating... the man runs and cuts the heart out of his mother and runs back to his wife whilst the heart is still beating, in the midst of the hurry he trips over and falls, a little voice comes out of the heart and says; my little boy, are you ok? My little boy tell me you are ok”
It illustrates the strong instinctual love a mother has for her child.
But the type of love we are discussing today is a “non- obligatory” love. One that isn’t required by “law” or societal standards. One that is freely choosing another person based on purely who they are, their personalities, their quirks, their happiness, their sadness, well just to put it simply.. loving them just because they exist.
So what is love?
It’s stronger than any high in the world and the most satisfying. Scientists have configured that love releases the same chemicals in the brain as drugs do, creating a euphoric feeling. But as much as love is exhilarating, it can also be destructive, just like drugs, it has a “come down” or withdrawal effects. Sometimes a small glimpse of love can mess us up for a lifetime.
Most of us spend an entire lifetime trying to find that one person so we can experience love, and being in love, and in the desperate search for that love sometimes we end up with the wrong person creating issues that we never had before like co-dependency, attachment and depression. But we don’t give up! It isn’t in our DNA to stop searching for love. Even the toughest singles out there claiming to be “just having fun” have sat on the sofa and cried their eyes out to a romantic movie.
The truth is, love is the only reason we humans exist. Contrary to scientific opinion that we are here for re-production services and evolution- which seems to me a bit of a hard, shallow, dark, empty conclusion to have as an explanation of “why we are here”, here is what I put forward.. we are here to experience Love.
Real, true, unconditional, unexpected, unlimited infinite love.
So how does love feel?
Love feels like you can’t see your life without your special person, love is you can’t breath when you think their hurt or missing, love is going above and beyond to protect and nurture your partner. Love is unreasonable and illogical but always always RIGHT.
It feels like your on top of a mountain, or swimming in the skies, your happy even when other things in your life are causing issues, so long your love is there, everything seems to be just fine. Love is courage, suddenly you feel like the world is at the tip of your toes and you can do ANYTHING! Love is having your own personal cheerleader and confidant. Belly butterflies and fireworks in the skies when ever you see his or her name on your phone.
But what happens if you think you found love but now you are broken up?
This is where most of us experience the “come down” all the dreams you dreamed of with him/her is now falling apart, you find yourself at square one, having to replan, re-schedule and re-adjust to single life. It’s difficult but not impossible. The truth is, real love doesn’t know the meaning of separation, real love will walk through fire to be with you. Real love will try to move the moon so you can have some shade when you're too hot, even if it’s impossible he/she will try! Real love has humility and no pride or ego. Real love is impossible to break and the only time it does it’s because of death.
Sometimes we believe we have found love, but the truth is we want it so so so bad that we almost convince ourselves that it is love in order to satisfy the need to end our search. When it fades, we mourn the relationship and all it’s potential but that isn’t love, that is your ego holding on to something that wasn’t meant for you.
We humans must learn to understand each other and understand what is best for each of us, including our own self. Some “loves” are just projected self need rather than it’s true existence.
The trick is, don’t ever stop. Don’t ever stop looking for love because when it’s finally found, the earth will stop spinning, the stars are brighter and you will have the comfort of knowing you will have a supportive, loving, trusting best friend and confidant and you will have the peace of mind knowing that you are not going through life alone. And that is a feeling worth searching for.
But most of all Self Love is the key to happiness.
A lot of people search for love to be happy, but reality is, love doesn’t bring happiness, love brings completeness. You have to love yourself in order to be able to love another, and you have to love yourself in order to receive love from another. Separating your soul from you body and love them both equally. Recognise the love you have for your spirit and all of its' purity and recognise your body for it’s the vehicle of accommodating your soul onto this physical plane. Don’t judge yourself based on your appearance, actions or else. Accept you as the wonderful, beautiful, intelligent being that you are, and work on always being better, always progression both in spiritual practise and in self love. Recognise your ego and it’s role within you and diminish its' powers and let your heart be the guide. The love for yourself sets the tone for all of your future relationships.
To receive love, one must love oneself first.
The Earth Healer